Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:10 Welcome to tea.
Speaker 1 00:00:13 We're here for our first official episode. We're getting started with a topic that's super important to both of us, something that we've really been working on the entire time we've known each other and hopefully before. Um, but yeah, the topic of this episode is self-care.
Speaker 0 00:00:30 My name is Emma, and this is my co-host Chris. So the whole point of this episode is because like Chris said, self-care is pretty important to us more so, because I feel like Chris kind of has it together in terms of self care. And I do not, we'll debrief and we'll break that down and we'll talk about it even further because I've tried many different things. I failed at many different things. There's a lot of things that I would like to work on, but just don't, this is kind of to help me talk about and think about ways that I can be better at, um, taking care of myself, the self care part. And so we're just going to dive deep into that and I'm just going to start it off. What does self care mean to you, Chris?
Speaker 1 00:01:13 I think my definition is you're taking care of your mind, your body and your spirit. What about you?
Speaker 0 00:01:20 Self care means taking care of all parts of your body. And I feel like we've been talking about chakras together as a friendship. And so making sure that those things are also aligned in open hippy, Tik, TOK, shout out to you. If anyone knows anything else about chakras and opening up your cheat, also reach out to me because yo girl is closed and blocked and that's okay. I think that it is, you know, taking care of ourselves so that we can be our best selves. Teachers are all notorious for not being able to take care of themselves. I think that I didn't really have successful self-care methods and modes in college and it kind of just carried over into my adulthood. And so now I am trying to find those ways and those outlets to take care of myself, because I think it's also important. We're also part of the society that just has this like grind culture and also hustle culture and workaholic culture that it starts to like weigh down on you when you do start to take care of yourself. But currently you have this working definition, you're doing all these things. What are you doing to take care of yourself though?
Speaker 1 00:02:24 I think I have some core things that I really try to make sure true. Got a base level of those things are doing good, then I'm feeling good. One of the things that's really important for me in self-care is making sure that the environment in which I find myself is nice and neat and tidy. So I'm definitely one of those people that feels like things have to be put away and clean and neat and organized. And that helps me to feel at peace and feel like I, I guess, it's that need for control over my environment. Things that I have that influence one of my big things is just making sure that my physical space, my room, the living room, the kitchen, all of these places are nice and neat and tidy. I will say it's kind of an indication of how I'm feeling depending on like how my place and physical space looks.
Speaker 1 00:03:15 So things are really cluttered and not tidy. Then that's like a reflection of me feeling very stressed and confused and busy and unclear. And a lot of ways when I get to that point, there are definitely moments where I physically have to stop everything that I'm doing and clean up. It feels like as I am physically cleaning the space around me, I feel as though I am able to mentally and spiritually and emotionally clear as well, and I'm able to focus better to really prioritize what I need to be doing at any given time. That would be like one of my first self-care practices from there. We just kind of get more complicated. I think focusing on small things like nail upkeep is something that I've gotten pretty good at. Um, not even needing to go to the salon in general upkeep. I recently developed a facial routine cause I learned that your face requires different things than the rest of everywhere else. Haircare is a whole different part of my self-care routine, trying to do things that I enjoy that helped me to like decompress. Especially after a long day of work, watching movies, playing games, talking to people that recharge me. Those would be all things that I would say I'm pretty good at doing consistently. And at least right now, help me feel like I'm at a base level of self care. There's some definite things that I need to work on, but those things helped me at least foundationally.
Speaker 0 00:04:49 I feel like you're really good at that. Currently I take care of myself by napping for three hours at a time. You know, I also take care of myself by buying things that I can't afford. That is also another way that I take care of myself. Just kidding. Other than that, I would echo that I would like to have like a clean space. Cause I feel like I'm always cluttered because my brain also feels the way that my space is manifested. My mom always said the way that your space looks like is like, what is going on in your brain? You know, this is it. So when Chris was talking about that, he needs to like have a tidy space. I would love to have a tidy space. And I look at my cluttered desk. What do I do to even combat that? I don't know. I think I'm taking better care of my body than I ever have been. I will say that I feel like I'm at my healthiest and at my fittest that I've ever been versus being my skinniest. I think that I wasn't healthy then I think I'm very healthy. Now, do I still indulge in the occasional large McDonald's French fries? Yes. And am I mad about it? No.
Speaker 0 00:05:52 And so I think it's also been just like a journey of reflection for me and spirit wise, what I love to be that person that wakes up and meditates. Sure. But also do I know that that's a reality for me, I'm also not really sure because I buy into that productivity culture and like this culture of workaholism. I don't want to take the time to do that. And so finding ways that I can be quick about it, but also intentional, but again, like, should my self-care be quick and intentional. I don't know because is that taking care of myself?
Speaker 1 00:06:22 I know as you're saying, I'm like, that sounds like the opposite of what self care is supposed to be quick when intense, I schedule it in and I'm like, that's not how self-care works. Yeah. For some people waking up at six o'clock in the morning and meditating for an hour, that's the thing that brings them joy and makes them feel at peace. Ideally I would imagine my whole life would be an act of self-care. I only do things that bring me joy and make me feel at peace, but it's not always super plausible. And as I work on that one, cause I don't think it's a thing that you have to like schedule in or make time for. It's just, it is an act of self-love.
Speaker 0 00:06:58 So this is the best. See, this is where I plug in the Ari Lennox. Um, that is what I'm currently listening to. Self-love everyone go listen to it. Ari Lennox. I love you. Audrey Lord has this one quote about self-care and it says caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare. When we talk about like capitalism, we discuss that because of this grinding and hustling, we are ingrained to want to keep working, but who is that really benefiting in the end, right? For us to take care of ourselves and to take care of our bodies, I believe is one of the biggest ways that we can rebel. I know that there's people who have Nat ministries and that is their form of self cares. Things like that. I feel are important. Now that I'm saying it out loud, why am I trying to schedule in my self-care? What is the purpose of that?
Speaker 1 00:07:53 Because I imagine it's just like a thing that you do when you need to feel better. That's a fun, systematic way to look at it. But I definitely look at self care. I was like, I need to feel better in this moment. So what is something that I can do to feel better? I'm not raging against the machine or down with the system. I just don't feel good right now. So how do I make myself feel good for me? Self-care is just trying to make sure that I am filling. All right. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling okay. I agree
Speaker 0 00:08:18 To me working out and being strong is something that gratifies me. I love seeing the changes that my body makes and feeling strong. That's why I do continue to go to the gym and go to CrossFit also because I feel like I've built a community within those people. That we're also all working towards the same collective goal. I feel like a lot of my self-care where I'm lacking though, is in my mind and in my spirit, I think that there is a certain type of spirit that is built through weightlifting, like resilience and perseverance. But I do want to be more intentional. I remember coming out of college and just being exhausted in every of the word I was physically exhausted. I was mentally exhausted and I was emotionally exhausted. We had just come off of our really big senior project, that year of fun employment that I'll call it because I couldn't find a job was really hard on me like mentally and emotionally.
Speaker 0 00:09:11 That is when I started to recognize, I actually don't know how to take care of myself because I've never had the time to like sit down and actually figure out what is going to be the thing that works for me. That's kind of, when I fell into this YouTube rabbit hole and saw journaling, it kind of took everything that I really like making these things look really aesthetic and reflecting on things I didn't like to reflect, but I did like creating pretty things. I felt like it would just kind of come hand in hand. That is something that I've been trying to keep up with is journaling. But then it became a point where do the aesthetics and the, I feel okay because I felt like I was trying to keep up this like perfectionist journal up and it wasn't working. It wasn't serving my needs.
Speaker 0 00:09:49 I was no longer being gratified by making this beautiful layout and making these things. And what I really needed was a place for me to put my feelings. That is what my journal turned into. I think it was just more of me trying to figure out and go through that. Do you meditate? How do you reflect? Do you just reflect in your brain? Do you like write it out? Where do you do those things? Do you reflect, I guess that's the bigger question, right? Do you think that there is a need for you to work?
Speaker 1 00:10:12 Like think about things that I've done or my feelings? Like what? Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:10:16 Reflect on anything, I guess, reflecting on your practices that you're currently doing, reflecting on, are you taking care of yourself? What are those mental checks that you do with yourself?
Speaker 1 00:10:26 Depends on the circumstances. So there are definitely been moments where I felt like, Oh, if I talk through this, then I'll feel better. And there are moments where I'm, I need to watch a sad movie so I can cry and then I'll feel better. And I think that comes with knowing myself emotionally and being able to sit with my feelings and from there saying, okay, what is the thing that my mind and my body is telling me to do in this moment, that would make me feel better. And for the most part, I feel like I haven't been stirred in the wrong direction. I meditate, not consistently. It's not like an every day thing, but I meditate. At one point I was doing yoga. Exercising used to be a thing that would help with that. I don't journal anymore. I tried it in high school.
Speaker 1 00:11:13 And then I graduated from high school and I went home and I found all of my journals and I literally burned them. How angsty the journaling doesn't that's not my thing. Journaling is not my favorite. I don't like putting the words into written things. I just listen to whatever my spirit tells me. I need in that moment. Kind of like you mentioned, you reach a dark point in your life and that's where you kind of recognize, Hey, I need some way to cope with this and figuring out what is that way going to be for you.
Speaker 0 00:11:43 Do you think that we as educators should be teaching our students how to take care of themselves? Yes,
Speaker 1 00:11:49 Because we have time in the day to do that. One of the things I really think is important for is to learn how to work through challenging times, because at some point we all deal with things that aren't easy. So I think equipping individuals with a base level of tools and skills I think is super helpful. I don't think it's something that everyone is born with the ability to do. You're not born with the ability to just cope to difficulty. Yeah. Sometimes like, you've you figure it out along the way. But I think a lot of the times it's an intentional act of development.
Speaker 0 00:12:22 Yeah. I agree. There are some schools now that are coming out with, instead of giving kids detention. And instead of referring kids, they have them be super intentional and reflect on what are they doing? They have them go into the meditation room because we see that we are referring students and it's not changing the behavior. So we need to get down to the root of it. Because like you said, it's hard to know how to cope. It's it's a big thing. Like even for adults, we see adults who don't know how to cope and what comes out of it. So if we can start that at a younger age, will that make them more productive citizens? Probably. So what are some failures that you've had in self care? Because I feel like you've talked about a lot of your successes. So what is something that you've tried? And you're like, actually, nah, I'm good
Speaker 1 00:13:09 Journaling wasn't it was not at all that came to a very flaming. And literally I tried that running thing with you that one time for that one month I did it. But I think the problem was like it was too goal oriented. Cause it was run 50 miles at the end of the month or you owe money, which is a motivating thing for me because I didn't want to own money and I wanted to hit the goal, but that was it.
Speaker 0 00:13:32 I want to point out background information, my family. And I decided, I think it was probably like April, April was our first month. We were all getting like hay fever. And the one thing that we could do was I go outside and go for walks. Everything was still shut down, but we could still go out. And so my dad has always been pretty athletic and he challenged us. Well, actually it was my sister who challenged us and my dad just kept it going. My sister was like, let's do a 50 mile challenge. We'll all put in $50. And if you make the goal, you get back your money. And if you don't, you put it into a pot at the end, that pot, it gets divvied out to everyone. Finally, Chris was like, okay, fine. I'll join it. So he did it. And Chris was like, I'm not a runner running hers by body running does all these things.
Speaker 0 00:14:11 I don't like it. And he ended up killing it, like smashing it out of the park. I feel like Chris doesn't think of himself as an athlete, but he has athletic tendencies. And so it started to come out, which was kind of cool. So when he didn't keep it going, I was kind of surprised because he got so good at it that I was like, why aren't you keeping it going? But also it was very time-consuming we weren't teaching at the time. But would you want to bring that back? Did that spark joy to you or was it just I'm doing it because I don't want to lose money
Speaker 1 00:14:35 In that particular case, it was so goal oriented. Will I get some form of satisfaction by running a 5k? Yes. Yes. I will. I will feel very accomplished because like you said, I do not see myself as athletic. It's certainly not a part of my routine. It's not something that I plan on integrating into a regular part of my self-care. It's not even because like, Oh, I just don't want to work out. Cause I used to work out at the gym for an hour at a time. Even when I worked out there was a goal, I was aiming for something. And part of why I stopped working out was I had hit the goals, just like the running thing. Like I hit the 50 miles, I think also I even set a sub goal of hitting three miles within 30 minutes and the first mile within 10, both of which I'm pretty sure I hit, I think part of it was like, I established it with the check box and then I checked the box. So I didn't see a purpose in continuing to do
Speaker 0 00:15:22 Your coach's worst nightmare because you did the thing, but now you got to keep going. That's the point? I feel like that would be my goal. Like, Oh yeah. Like I would love to run three miles under this time. So like when he killed it and then didn't want to keep going, I was like, Oh my God. But also who's to say that I wouldn't, you know, like I've never been able to do that. Who's to say that I wouldn't get there and be like, this is fine. Like I'm done. I feel like the only success that I've ever found in self-care is doing CrossFit. That is one of those things. Like I've tried running, I've tried knitting and I'm actually a pretty good knitter. Shout out to my auntie Nomi for that. I'm not going to count journaling as a complete failure because I feel like it is half and half.
Speaker 0 00:15:59 I think shopping should be a failure because that's not a form of self care. It shouldn't be at least for me because like, again, I'm going to teacher salary and teacher salaries are trash. So at target helped me fund my self-care journey. I feel like coming out of this episode though, I do feel like I have some action items and steps. Number one, being that I want to be more intentional about the way that I feel. I do want to start reflecting more. Cause I feel like that does spark joy to me and being more intentional about like my physical space, keeping it tight here.
Speaker 1 00:16:30 I wish there was a test for that. Oh, these are things that like irritate my brain. I should probably stop doing these things. If anyone knows of the test, if it exists and it's a real test that you could take, you know, just let us know. Cause I would take it. It seems like it'd be fun. Yes.
Speaker 0 00:16:42 And we also enjoy any kind of tests, personality tests, chakra tests.
Speaker 1 00:16:46 The shocker test was hilarious. Yes.
Speaker 0 00:16:48 Because Chris only has one closed area and I have many gloats areas and you know, what's so funny is because when we took that shocker test, it was my head that was closed. Remember it was my head in my mind that we're closed. If anyone has any ideas, how to, you know, open those back up again. I'll let you girl, we are going to end every episode with a rapid fire sequence of questions. Chris is going to ask two and I'm going to ask to feel free to answer them in our comments as well. So the first question is going to be what is the most boring fact about you and why?
Speaker 1 00:17:19 My most boring fact about me is that I'm five foot 10. And it's the most boring fact because there's nothing unique about being that height.
Speaker 0 00:17:28 My most boring fact is that I have, um, not super terrible vision, but I still have to work last who's cause I can't see far, my eyes are mediocre. They just can't see. That's my most boring fact. Your question.
Speaker 1 00:17:41 What is your greatest fear? Spiders minus height. Really? Yeah. I hate Heights. I get nervous when I at Heights like, you
Speaker 0 00:17:50 Know, when people are really high up in movies and stuff, like just talking about it, my hands are getting really clammy. Like I can't watch any of the James Bond movies because they make me nervous. But I love roller coasters actually. No I lied. Spiders are not my biggest fear. Snakes are no. Okay. Can you ask the question again? Sorry. I had time to think about it
Speaker 1 00:18:08 Is your greatest fear frogs. Ah, but I like frogs, especially red-eyed tree frogs. Also you went to Costa Rica and like were friends with the frog.
Speaker 0 00:18:17 I just don't like the way that they jump. It makes me nervous that I can't figure out which way they're going to go. Are they going to go forward? Are they going to go back? Are they going to hop on me? It's their movement. I can't anticipate
Speaker 1 00:18:26 Pretty sure frogs can only physically go forward.
Speaker 0 00:18:28 It says you, are you a frog? You don't know. Are you the hero or the villain in your own life story? I
Speaker 1 00:18:35 Am villain same.
Speaker 0 00:18:38 So my partner is actually the one who brought this up to me, but he asked me that question and I said, I'm the villain? And he was like, I'm the hero, which I think is kind of shows you like complexes that we have as human beings. Like we want to view the heroes in our own stories while also like, why would I want to be the villain of my own story? I don't like Cruella, Deville she's scares me, but I also feel like I am a little bit self-destructive I don't have good self care. So maybe I am the villain. I'm Mokey trying to take myself down.
Speaker 1 00:19:04 I just like the villains. Cause I feel like they always have better costumes and better musical notes
Speaker 0 00:19:08 For sure. Okay. So then going back to that, let's tell them who is your favorite villain?
Speaker 1 00:19:12 Ursula, the sea witch from the little mermaid.
Speaker 0 00:19:15 See, and I don't have a favorite villain because I don't like the villains. They scare me. I want to be the hero, but I just feel like I'm, I don't have hero qualities to be the hero.
Speaker 1 00:19:24 I also feel like villains, especially in kids, movies are actually way more rational than everyone else. And I think especially watching them as an adult, the village is wanting to not be illogical. Y'all are just mad because the villain was like, let's be organized and rational about this. And y'all were like, no, let's have fun.
Speaker 0 00:19:42 You are killing our joy
Speaker 1 00:19:45 Except for like, you know, Carrillo developed. She's just wanting to kill the dogs. All right. Question related to self-care. What is your current state of mind
Speaker 0 00:19:52 In this moment? Exhausted. I think I'm really tired. I feel like right before any kind of break, I feel very tired. This is also usually around the time of the year that I get sick because I'm so exhausted. You'll grow, not trying to get sick. Where are you currently from? I'm pretty chill and that is our rapid fire sequence portion of our show. Thank you all for listening again. If you stuck around with us for this long shout out to you, shout out to everyone else out there, shout out to target, still waiting for my sponsorships. Shout out to office Depot. I really use your tool products T U L. And I think that I should get a sponsorship for that just specifically for that you can find us on Instagram at, at the T with crema or listen to us anywhere that you find podcasts. We'll see you all later.
